Posted by Budgie at June 2, 2005 02:38 PM

Welcome To Celebrity Fog Donkey.

At the tail end of 1999, in the now long gone Tower Records in Glasgow, I happened to stumble across the album above, Spymania Allstars "Welcome To Celebrity Fog Donkey". It was in the new releases of the Dance section, an area I was far too familiar with for a good many years. The sleeve stood out as it was, well how can I put it nicely, erm, crap. As you can see for yourselves, it's black and white, has a picture of a mutated head and an Airfix kit on it and on the version I bought, the words, "fog donkey" had been scored out in black marker pen... Curiosity got the better of me, it got flipped over and I started to read the tracklisting. The first track was called "Henry's A Bastard", the second was, "We Live In A World Of Shit" and further down was a track which made me laugh entitled, "Orienteering Is Fucking Rubbish". I knew nothing of the folk behind the tracks or anything about the Spymania label, but I did spot a track by someone called Cassetteboy...

I had read about him in some music magazine and knowing about his comedy cut-up technique, but not actually having heard any of it, I decided to part with my money and buy the thing. I'm glad I did, it's become one of my favourite CD's.

It took a good few listens mind to get my head around it as it's a beautiful shambles of a thing. In the space of the first half of the album it's jumped from 20 second tracks that sample Henry's Cat (the afformentioned "Henry's A Bastard"), through a cover of Joy Division's "Isolation" that sounds as though the guy recorded his vocals onto one of those old tape recorders as the batteries were running down, some 303 madness by T Maxx, Cassetteboy's cut up that manages to poke fun at Gary Glitter, Aids, Myra Hindley and Tim Westwood in the space of 3 minutes, some Tortoise-esque ambient acoustic track by Transbeauce and a hilarious song about fire safety by someone called Pleated Lemon. The second half is just as diverse taking in elements of house and downtempo too.

What really made this album though, was that it became well known amongst my friends at that time as the weird but funny album that was bunged on everytime we were all drunk in my flat. It soundtracked many a messy alcohol fuelled night and the inside sleeve contributed a good few laughs aswell - amongst other things there is a picture of the photo fit for Jill Dando's killer with a speech bubble proclaiming, "Sorry Jill" and an American newspaper Wanted ad that reads, "WANTED Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke....You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before."

Below are a few of my favourite tracks from it.

Track : MDK - "WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF SHIT"

This is the first of 2 MDK tracks that appear on "Welcome To Celebrity Fog Donkey". "We Live In A World Of Shit" is a big deep, dirty, hissy, drum and bass track that sounds as though the main chords are being played on a church organ. The chords and a chiming refrain soften it all, but it still whacks a fair punch and keeps you on your toes as the beats keep twisting and changing. A great track.

MDK is headlining Jimmy The Flid's LOOSHKIN night in Glasgow this Sunday (5th June)- See details below. Going on the stuff I have heard by MDK I'm sure you can expect the unexpected. He can change from chilled out ambience, to glitchy electronica, shuffling Hip Hop Beats, Drum and Bass and Heavy Metal in the space of a couple of minutes - if his "Open Transit" album is a good indication then it will be a good night. So if you are in Glasgow on sunday and fancy a wee night out, then you'll be more than welcome at LOOSHKIN.

Track : PLEATED LEMON - "SAFETY SONG"

This is a work of wonky genius. It's not a dance track, it's a lovely, jolly and very funny pop song that teaches you the importance of Fire Safety.

Track : T3 PERM LEECH - "ORIENTEERING IS FUCKING RUBBISH"

Oh man, where do I start in describing this? I can't. It'd ruin it. It's incredibly short - around 50 seconds or so, but sweet jesus, it once made me burst out laughing on a busy train listening to this...

Track : BIG MAN ACE ACE MEETS SNAKE'S LEG - "DISTRO"

Another short one, if only it was as long as the band name... Like MDK's track above, this too is drum and bass. It differs though as it's more in style with the 2 drum and bass tracks I bunged up on The Pipe last week. "Distro" is polished and shimmers along quite nicely, but as I said, it's short. Just as it gets going, it finishes. But hey, that's what repeat buttons are for. And yes, sample spotters, that is a sample of The Fall's "Eat Y'Self Fitter" towards the end...

Go Visit : Spymania
Go Visit : MDK - Relive The Future

Go Buy : Spymania Allstars - Welcome To Celebrity Fog Donkey
Go Buy : Various MDK Records...

Come Along To :

Feel free to leave a comment about these tracks in The Pipe section of the forum

Ta,
Budgie