Posted by Budgie at April 5, 2004 11:42 PM

Kylie says "Twat", Barry White says "Fuck" and Gary Coleman basically wants to hump you.

It's the end of civilization as we know it.

No music this week, just some bad words.

Swearing is fucking great, isn't it? Of course it is you wank faced bastard. You do it, I do it and I bet the Queen even does it. Well, probably only at Phillip and only then it is to chastise him for saying something untoward about one of our commonwealth brothers skin tones.

It's always great to hear folk you would never associate with swearing let out the odd expletive, so this week THE PIPE is bringing to you a selection of MP3s of Celebrities swearing.

You've probably by now seen, doing the rounds on the internet, the Channel Four advert in which they asked various famous people, associated with the channel, what their favourite swear word was. It made for terrific and startling viewing, especially just to hear Judy Finnigan say "Rim Job" and Graham Norton saying "I like cocks up me arse". Actually, that is not what they said.

You can hear / see what they said here.
Taken from the blog nuero.me.uk

I think the advert got dropped from its intended cinema release because the powers that be thought that the language was too strong in it. A bit ironic really as the ad was intended to be aired before the 2nd part of Tarantino's "Kill Bill"...

Kylie

Kylie Minogue hit the headlines last week when it was reported that she got caught saying some rude things about a DJ on some local radio station. She was recording a phone interview with them and, after the interview was cut short by one of her representatives, the tape was left running only to let us hear what the pint sized pop star had to say about the DJ and his line of questioning...

Kylie Swears here.
Taken from the blog Oh Manchester, So Much To Answer For

Barry White

The Walrus Of Love. I've never understood the attraction that people have of claiming that they make love whilst Barry White records play in the background. I mean the last thing you want when trying to get your partner in the mood is the voice of a sweaty fat man booming out of your stereo. To me, the intro's to his records make me think of what it would be like to be in a Prison in Alabama.

I can assure you, you will not be able to get in the mood whilst listening to this Barry White cut.

Barry is trying to record an advert and he is not too happy with the guy who has written his script...

Barry White Swears here
Taken from April Winchell's site.

(Side note : Make sure you check out April's site as it is a goldmine of bizarre MP3s. My personal fave on there is the "Rapping With Gas" track. If you've ever heard DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist's follow up to their infamous "Brainfreeze" CD, "Product Placement", then you will know this song very well indeed.)

Gary Coleman

There isn't any swearing in these MP3s, but to tie in with what I said about hearing people you wouldn't normally hear cursing, here is an example of hearing something that you would never want to hear leaving this celebs mouth. Listen to this downright wrong clip by former child star and celebrity kidney failure victim, Gary Coleman. He is recording a message for a sex chat line.

It's a definite "Whatchu talkin' about?" moment.

Admire Gary's "skills" here and here.
Taken from April Winchell's site.

Slash
Mel B

Ah, the glory days of saturday morning kids TV. Who can ever forget that morning when you tuned into Saturday Superstore to hear someone call in to speak to jazz pop daddio's Matt Bianco only to have them call the band "a bunch of wankers"? Or the time Crowded House were on and Sarah Greene asked Neil Finn what the competition question was to win lots of Crowded House goodies and to see her squirm when he looked into the camera and said "Guess which member of the band hasn't been circumcised". Class.

These next 2 MP3s are culled from saturday morning kids TV. The first is by former Guns & Roses guitarist, Slash. He is on CD:UK being interviewed by Cat Deeley. Ever the professional, she lets his slip up lie and leaves Dec to tidy up the pieces. He handles it with the same grace he did when John Lydon said "Cunt" on air a few months ago.

The next MP3 is taken from "Live And Kicking" and to be fair it's not really Mel B's fault. She is taking part on some pop quiz segment and whoever is asking the questions, or wrote the script, obviously thought that it would be edgy to create a rhyme that would lead to a swear word, but stop at the last minute so as the word wouldn't be said. No one told Mel B she wasn't on Blankety Blank...

Slash Swears here.
Mel B Swears here.
Taken From the Celebrities Swearing Site.

Britney Spears

Oh Britney, Britney, Britney, I feel you've let us all down. Once the squeeky clean virginal pop princess and now you're a chain smoking, Fred Durst shagging, divorcee with a potty mouth. I bet she's glad she had a hit again with "Toxic" as she was about 3 months away from living in a Trailer. Saying that, you still would though, wouldn't you?

Here Britney appears backstage awaiting to take to the boards with her all miming, all dancing show. But wait, no one has played her crowd warm up music (called a "vamp")...

Britney Swears here.
Taken from the Celebrities Swearing site.

That's your fucking lot for this week.
Feel free to discuss this shit in the forums.

Budgie.

[ if anyone isn't happy about their files being linked to, get in touch with me and I shall remove the link. ]