The third day of the Pirates task also marks the end of it, but the housemates are still plodding on in the hope that they've passed. Trouble is, they've failed, spectacularly, and had done so within an hour or so of starting it back on Monday.

They're not aware they've failed yet, but the Channel 4 website has revealled that yes they failed long ago - within an hour and a half Anthony, Saskia and Maxwell forgetting to don their hats, meaning there were 3 fails... the maximum allowed is 2 per day, so even with no more during the rest of the days they'd still have failed.

Incorrect responses to warning flags, and numerous other fails have resulted in them wasting their time staying in the crows nest all night, which has included Roberto and Derek moaning like old farts overnight, just to be replaced by Sam and Vanessa who hardly spoke for the early morning shift, which was followed by a raising rendition of their Pirates song as part of their morning alarm-call.

Failing the task means they end up with around £1 per day to spend on shopping, which will no doubt annoy Roberto who needs very little to get him wound up about food.

And fail they did
Housemates were told that they'd failed, but not until Big Beard got one more cheap bit of fun out of them, by making them line up and pass buckets of bilge water (or blige water as Science called it) but the buckets had holes in the bottom and the water was also full of fish guts, making the whole thing all the worse.

Once they'd finally managed to fill a barrel with enough water, the bottle which was inside it was high enough to be picked out by Captain Science, and he then removed the message from the bottle... to reveal the results... basically that they'd failed, massively, and totally without a doubt.

Speed dating
At just after 11pm Big Brother set a speed dating event for the housemates.

They have been given a hamper of alcohol, along with an envelope each, which contains the names of the housemates which they are to host a date with - of which has caused much hilarity with Derek getting Science and Maxwell as two of his partners.

The Loft (or boudouirge as some housemates have annoyingly nicknamed it) has been decked out in soft red cushions, roses and rose petals, and also has a bowl of strawberries - of which Craig ate a huge amount during his speed date being hosted by Anthony.

Derek hosted some very funny dates, followed by Kemal who was also highly humerous. Makosi's turn was next, and her second date was with Sam, who didn't answer the first question and said "i think we should just kiss", which resulted in them kissing for what must have been over a minute as the cameras zoomed in on the pair.

Maxwell's turn to host three speed dates was next, including Vanessa and a somewhat un-interested Science. He also got 2 minutes with Saskia, who he was clearly looking forward to, and appeared to enjoy greatly... [video]

During Roberto's turn at hosting three dates, he decided to inhale some helium from one of the balloons, so when Maxwell joined him he spoke all high pitched. This continued after his round of dates with Craig, Maxwell and Kemal having a go at speaking high pitched [video]

E4's live feed missed much of Sam's speed dating, however it did return from the break to find her lapdancing for Anthony, although she seemed more interested in making him strip than herself... [video]