Posted by Simon at June 18, 2004 08:19 PM

I HATE SHELL SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, I HATE...
-- (sung in the style of the song by Kelis)

Opinion: Twenty-two year old Shell entered the house as the "nice one" (according to BBC News' website). Apparently she's a "conscientious student who loves long walks, architecture and art galleries".

Ever since the first day that she entered the house, she's had something that niggled me. Lots of things. And it's getting more and more all the time. I hate Shell so much right now....

So why do I hate Shell so much (right now)?
She's got an annoying voice. Yeeeap (yes), Noooh (no), Kuuewl (cool). Now I say "yep" "no" and "cool" too, but she just says them in a really really annoying way, far too often. She also suffers from the "yep yep yep yep" or "no no no no" habit, which really annoys after a short while.

She also seem to be suffering more and more from the kitten-syndrome of "...i think.. maybe... i think...". Her speech is absoloutely littered with irritating pauses like that whilst she tries to think quite what she was/is thinking... argh!

She goes to say something trying to come across as miss-brainy, and then half way through saying it you hear her reversing siren come on as she realises she's just gone down a dead end.

She appears to think she's some sort of fucking Nigella Lawson. I'm sure she'll get her own show once she's out of the house. She seems to have some sort of ultra-posh cookbook shoved away in the back of her head, but it's SO FUCKING ANNOYING:

* Whilst doing the cooking, she said about putting some (fruit or something, I didn't catch it's name) as it'd "stop me going grey"... WTF, you're in the fucking big brother house, and you're putting stuff in the food to stop you going grey?! And you actually believe this utter bollocks?!

* She did the food ordering one week. She did it. Her. Not the whole group - despite the fact that 90% of them were sitting there doing the list with her. It was all "I'll order ___" and "I'll get nine of these"... HELLO? "I'll"... I thought it was a team style thing going on here... the whole group. Bad. Very Bad. Annoying too.

* Same shopping list, she was looking at oil for cooking... she decided to go for some oil that was nearly £3... Marco helpfully pointed out that there was a cheaper oil for something like 80 pence... she said "that's not as good for you".... SO THE FUCK WHAT? It's 10 weeks in the big brother house, sod the "good for you". They shouldn't even have the choice of the "good" stuff, it should just be the bare basics. The extra £2 she spent getting some poxy posh oil that is "good for you" could have been spent on loads of other stuff, like crisps, and chocolate. I'd have fucking hit the roof if I'd have been in the house and she'd have said she was going to order the more expensive oil over the basic oil.

* She ordered "Four leaks!" WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY NEED LEAKS FOR? And for that matter what the hell is it on the shopping list for? Is this ment to be a 10 week holiday for them, or are they ment to be trying to save every single penny they can in the shopping budget? I'd have probably thoguht about getting violent if I'd have been sitting there going through the shopping list when she said that. I'd not have though, as I'm not the violent type, but you get my point.

She smokes, far too much. I'm sure the first two weeks there wasn't half an hour that went by when she wasn't dragging away on a cigarette. Just doesn't look nice. And for someone that's so concerned about oil that "isn't as good for you" or putting ingredients in the food which will "stop me going grey", it's a bit ironic that she smokes isn't it? Presumably using some ingredients will stop her from dieing early due to clogged up lungs...?!

She shrieeeeeks and screams like a silly little hyperactive child. All sorts of things, from something like being sprayed with the garden hose to just something totally inaine like being dug in the ribs. It's FUCKING ANNOYING.

She's also got one of the world's worst ever laughs. I'm sick of it! "Ooooooooh-huuuuuuu-hahahahaha OOOOOOOh hooooooo hahaha". she also seems to be laughing whilst she's gabbling her words out to people. Now I can't say I've never laughed at myself whilst saying something (usually the jokes funnier when you think of it than when you say it) but she seems to have this nervous laugh in her voice even when she's not telling a joke... is she hiding a bit of fakeness maybe? I think maybe so!

She's just like Penny from Big Brother 2 (remember her? first to be evicted). She looks quite similar in some ways, and she's got a lot of similarities in the way she is. She digs for compliments, and wants people to praise everything she does, she wants to be told she's wonderful. She also talks to herself far too much, about totally pointless drivel, almost as if she's a cook on tv (ok, so when she's cooking, on big brother, I guess arguably she is) and that she's talking to the people at home, via the camera, about err, daytime tv style things. WE DON'T CARE, shut up!!!!!!! Please!!!

She wears silly clothes like she's trying to be some kind of fairy princess ballerina doll. A floaty skirt, which (as Michelle seems to quickly notice) ment that every time she sat down she flashed her nickers at the rest of the housemates. She also seem to have a thing for LEG WARMERS?! What the hell good are they doing? I'm sure they've maybe got a reason (or are they just some sort of 80's fashion disaster that she's not got rid of?) but what good are they in the Big Brother house? Sometimes they're pulled up high, and sometimes they've all fallen down like a scruffy pair of socks... they're just pointless!

She throws in the odd expletive now and then, such as "infact no bugger it, i'll get changed later"... eh!? Why did that need the "bugger it" thrown in? There's been plenty more examples and that's certainly not the best one, but they're not being said like she's "swearing" and more as if she's a kid in the playground at school trying to act cool by using a naughty-slightly-sweary-word ooh, bad girl. Nothing wrong with a bit of swearing, especially in context (although too much of it ain't a good thing, kids!), but she sounds like some posh spoilt little brat that is trying to be outlandish. Such a shame.

She's far too emotional. I'm not for one minute saying someone shouldn't show their emotions, and of course she's entitled to, but she's coming across as a bit, hmm, fake? Almost as if she's doing it to stay in the house (and maybe it's working because as yet she's had no nominations at all), but she seems to join the "emotional rollercoaster" at every single opportunity, piggybacking on other peoples emotional lows, especially blonde-buddy Vanessa's, at every chance possible. The fight is another good example, where she wasn't even in the room when the fight was going on, and was in the bedroom, but then was sick because of how shocked she was.... WHAT!? Have I misunderstood something here, or am I just being cold hearted and nasty?

I suppose that in reflection she's got some good aspects to her... I'm just finding it difficult to work out quite what they are...

What do YOU hate about a Big Brother housemate so much right now? Vent your splein in our special HoC Forum topic.

The Eye hates shell so much right now...